The Proper Authorities

14 May

By now, most of you know I work from my house. The company I work for is based outside of Philadelphia, in a not-so-remote area. Actually, the area is heavily populated, although it is not very far from Valley Forge.

I am often amused by the offbeat, but well-meaning e-mails the company’s facilities folks send to all employees. These typically include reports of found items, lost items, cautionary tales of the icy, grassy hills on the property, etc. I used to wish they’d limit the communiques to employees in that building. Then I realized I would miss the occasional bits of entertainment these e-mails provide.

Today’s communication was particularly amusing…

To All:

By now many of you have heard or seen the wild turkey hen that is hanging around the property and is becoming a nuisance. The hen has been seen on cars and it has also been reported that she can get aggressive.

I contacted animal control about this bird and the only advice they can offer is to be sure that no one is feeding the bird and to give the bird a little free space.

So we are asking you not to feed the bird and give her a little leeway when entering the building. Facilities will do our best to see that she stays away from the cars and hopefully she will get frustrated and leave the property on her own.

If there are any further instances of the hen getting aggressive please report them to me so that I can pass the information on to the proper authorities.

I can just picture a group of big, burly facilities guys patrolling the parking lot chasing after the poor turkey hen, doing their best to frustrate her. While fellow employees cower in their cars for fear of being attacked by this crazed bird.

I wonder what authorities they would call?

If only someone at the home office had a camera…

You know I would be doing my best to get some pics of the crazy hen.

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