My Training Partner

15 Jun

Today was the first time I added short jogs into my training regimen. I’d gotten to the point where 45 minutes of brisk walking was doable (except for the heat), so I didn’t think adding a short jog would be bad. I was wrong. But I survived.

Despite my training partner from Hell. What partner? This strange guy who joins me periodically. I think his name is Richard, but I like to call him Dick for short. He can be quite chatty. And quite annoying. Here’s an excerpt from today’s conversation…

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Me: Pant, huff, gasp…

Dick: It’s sort of early for this, isn’t it? I mean, it’s like 7:00 AM.

Me: Early beats the heat. Pant, huff, gasp…

Dick: You’re not enjoying this. Just stop.

Me: I said I’d do the 10-miler. Pant, huff, gasp…

Dick: You were drunk.

Me: I agreed when sober, too. Pant, huff, gasp…

Dick: Some friend. Couldn’t she start with something shorter? Maybe a little 5k?

Me: Pant, huff, gasp…

Dick: Come on. Stop already. This is ridiculous. You’re not being realistic.

Me: I am. I can do this. Lots of people run. Pant, huff, gasp…

Dick: Screw her. You don’t even like running. Just quit.

Me: Nope. I said I’d do it. I’ll get into shape. Pant, huff, gasp.

Dick: You look silly, you know. You look like you’re dying. Maybe this will kill you.

Me: It’ll get easier. Pant, huff, gasp…

Dick: Walking is easier. You could do that right now. Just walk. That’s healthy.

Me: Walking was hard when I started. Pant, huff, gasp…

Dick: This is harder.

Me: I can do it. Pant, huff, gasp…

Dick: You’re three minutes in and look at you.

Me: But after 5 minutes, I get to walk. Pant, huff, gasp…

Dick: Yeah, but then you’re supposed to run again. Twice.

Me: Pant, huff, gasp…

Dick: Just stop for a minute. You don’t have to do this.

Me: Go away. Pant, huff, gasp…

Dick: You’ll never do this.

Me: I’ve had enough. Leave me alone. Pant, huff, gasp…

Dick: You’re pathetic. Look how tired you are.

Me: Shut up. Pant, huff, gasp…

Dick: Make me.

Me: Okay. Pant, huff, gasp…

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Just like that, the voice was gone. It’s amazing what a little positive thinking can do.

Tomorrow, I get to rest. Wednesday, I’ll be back at it.

Dick won’t be joining me again.