Cutting Edge Electronics Locator

3 Oct

Let’s say you’re out for the day, all set to tour some famous sites and take lots of pictures when you realize your camera battery is almost dead. You’re in the middle of a big city, but really need to find a camera or electronics store. You have no map, no telephone directory, no broadband Web access device.

In short, you’re screwed.

What do you do? You Call SONstar.

Yes, the makers of the wildly popular MOMstar Navigation Support System recently expanded their family of products. Now, parents can get directional assistance AND help buying electronics using the new SONstar Remote Navigation System.

All you need is a cellular telephone. Dial the toll-free number to reach an operator. “Did you just wake up?” is just one example of a mutually agreed upon code-word that indicates you are a paid subscriber in need of help. You might also use, “What time did you get home?” Or, perhaps, “Did you take out the trash?”

After establishing your identity, and verifying that you are a hopeless adult, the operator will ask what sort of help you need.

Using our example, we’ll pretend you are in Washington, DC. “I need to find a Best Buy (electronics box store) in Alexandria.”

“What do you need to buy?” the operator asks.

“A car charger for my camera battery.”

“Don’t you already have one?”

“Yes, son, but it’s at home in my camera bag.”

“That sucks,” he says. “Well, where are you now?”

You give him your location.

“Okay. Hold on,” he says. There’s a loud bang as he drops the phone. You wait as he consults a map. After a minute or two, he tells you there are three of them in the area. He’s mumbling so you have to ask him to repeat himself at least three times.

“The closest one is on Jefferson Davis Highway. So you need to turn around. It’s just past East Glebe Road.”

“Okay, thanks son,” you tell him. You’re just about to hang up when you remember… for a limited time only, if you nag the operator at the end of the call, too, you get a 10% discount on the service. You just have to remember to say something like, “Did you let the dogs out yet?” Or, “Clean your bedroom.” Perhaps even, “Don’t forget to mow the grass.”

The sound of the telephone slamming down is your acknowledgment that the bonus nagging has been received.