Random Thoughts from ToadMama Herself

25 Nov

I like this guy. I’ve never seen one of his movies. But, after seeing him recently on 60 Minutes, I really, really like him. He makes low-budget movies that are extremely popular. But “Hollywood” says he’s portraying black people in a bad light.

Even Spike Lee made some sort of disparaging comment about him. Butthead. I think Spike Lee is jealous. Tyler Perry, the guy I am talking about, has had five movies open as #1 at the box office in the last four years. Or something like that. So he must be doing something right.

And he’s now at a place where he can give $1 million dollars to the NAACP. Keep bucking the trend, Tyler. And screw Spike Lee, who should be praising you for what you do.

He’s one of Oprah’s closest friends. Oprah said that herself. Why do I care?

I don’t, really. I mean, it’s cool that both of them have friends. We all need them.

So why GIVE YOU A LINK to that Oprah video? Because in it, she does a great job explaining “friends.” Real friends. There is a difference between being friendly with a lot of people and having a lot of friends.

Being friends with someone is special. It’s not about longevity, necessarily. It’s about that connection. The bond you feel immediately, or soon thereafter, when you meet someone. The bond that never really goes away no matter how much time passes between get-togethers, or phone calls.

This isn’t something I think about often. I mean, I like people and I do have a lot of friends. But I was recently very weirded-out by a person who I saw frequently, but never felt that connection with, telling me that I was the best friend he ever had. I felt bad for feeling that way. Guilty sort of. I mean, I like the person and we do have a few things in common. And yes, we can be friendly. But the best friend ever?

Recently, a former co-worker invited me on an outing with two of her closest friends. I really like this person and always have liked this person. We were never particularly close, mainly because we never really got the chance to get to know each other. We could be friends, is what I am saying. But we haven’t made that connection. Yet. Maybe we will one day.

But I have to say, I was overjoyed to see an e-mail from said person where she introduced me as a colleague or past colleague, and introduced her two friends to me as her friends. That made me so happy. Why? Because now I know there’s someone else in the world like me that does not feel that knowing and being friendly with someone automatically makes them your friend.

There’s different degrees of friendship, too. Again, that’s not necessarily a longevity thing.

This is one of those posts that will leave Hubby scratching his head. But I understand. Most men don’t get the friend thing at all. They have friends, buddies, even pals, but they don’t have friends like women do.

I’m guessing I may leave some women thinking, “Am I her friend?”

If you are, you already know it. Remember, it’s a feeling, it’s not a title.

So, why the long diatribe about friendship?

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, you know. And one of the things I am most thankful for is having a lot of good, true friends.

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