I’m not sure what happened to January. I mean, it FLEW past. For me, anyway. But then there’s a lot going on.
The pace at work may be leveling out, which is a very good thing. Maybe I can actually make some progress on the huge job-related to-do list. Having a lot of stuff hanging over your head that you know you really need to get done, stuff that will make your job easier in the long run, is stressful. Add that to the usual stress of the multiple, more-immediate deliverables. And the long hours. It can become a bit of a powder keg. Hopefully I’ll survive, job intact.
K is still hanging in there, and we are still taking that whole situation one day at a time. Trying not to dwell on the sadness of it all so that her final time in her physical body is well-spent.
Now that February is here, it’s time to look ahead, focus on some positive stuff for a change. Looking ahead for me almost always involves travel plans. I went to visit my Dad last week, driving up Thursday night then coming home on Friday. Hubby stayed home with the girls so I didn’t have to worry.
In a few weeks, I’ll be heading to Pennsylvania with a girlfriend or two for our annual getaway. Hopefully, two. Sadly, one of my friends has been dealing with some serious health issues.
In mid-March, we will all be heading to Maryland to help my MIL move into a new apartment. At the end of March, I’ll be meeting up with another girlfriend, somewhere between here and Wilmington, North Carolina.
We were supposed to go to Hawaii in April — our 25th wedding anniversary trip — but that’s been pushed back to September. Maybe we can squeeze in a long moto weekend to celebrate that milestone. Parties aren’t really our thing.
I have no idea what will come up after that. There wasn’t much on my agenda this time last year either, and I ended up getting around quite a bit. Although I did not make it to Mississippi as I’d planned.
I did have fun looking through old pictures this morning. Not “old” per se, just pics captured while on previous adventures.
I foresee many new, fun selfies in my near future.
This new year has slithered in with an air of uncertainty. It seems to be hanging over me in a dark cloud. Decisions pending, some of which are life and death. Others may “only” be life-changing. Sigh.
I’m tired of adulting. Really.
But whining never helps anyone, does it?
There is some positive news. Sort of. K seems to be holding her own. It’s a real roller coaster, mentally. I know the worst is coming, I just don’t know when.
I’ve been taking the girls for walks, weather permitting. The other day it was 65 degrees! K is very excited to go, but walking tires her out. She’s never ready to head home until she’s REALLY tired. So, I could force her to turn around sooner, but she doesn’t want to stop.
She LOVES walking.
The way I look at it, we could keep her safely tucked away at home, making her rest and take it easy. Or, I could let her do the things she enjoys, taking one day at a time, until she absolutely cannot do those things anymore.
If I were K, I’d want to do what I love. So we walk.
For now, we will just continue taking things one day at a time.
If you’d asked me a couple of weeks ago whether or not I had plans for the new year, I would have said, yes. Like making 2018 a year of more two-wheeled adventures (sorely lacking in 2017). Seeing more of my family and my friends. Working less and playing more in general (my job was very demanding in 2017). Getting back to the hobbies I enjoy — reading and writing blog posts, quilting, crafting, furniture painting, photography, etc. — but am always too tired for.
The unpredictability of life has a way of changing things, though, doesn’t it?
I learned a few things over the holidays, and now my outlook has shifted a bit. I still have plans, just different priorities.
Let’s talk about happy stuff first.
All of our kids, their spouses, and grandchildren were together at our house for Christmas this year. The last time we were all together was April 2013, for our son Eric’s wedding. Why so long? Because we all live in different states, have busy jobs, our own interests and commitments, and rarely enough time and/or money to get together as often as we’d like.
It really was great having everyone together. Hubby Mike drove to Maryland on December 20 to pick up his mom. Shannon and Chris flew in from San Diego on a Christmas Eve red-eye. They told us they’d be arriving the morning of December 26, but surprised us on Christmas morning. Amy, TJ, and the grand kids drove down from just outside of Indianapolis on December 26. Eric and Kelsey drove down from Maryland on December 28 and 29. It was a happy time.
It’s hard having the kids spread so geographically far apart. We want them to live their own lives doing what they want, where they want to do it, but we do miss seeing them more often.
Everyone left on Saturday morning. Eric and Kelsey drove back to Maryland, Amy, TJ, and kids left for Indiana, and Hubby drove Mom to Maryland before dropping Shannon and Chris at the airport. Which meant I was left home alone with the dogs.
This is the scene in our driveway that greeted me on Saturday afternoon…
Now for the not-at-all-happy stuff…
That image perfectly captures the happy chaos of Christmas week. It really was awesome having everyone together. Just imagine how quiet and empty the house felt after everyone left.
It was just me and the dogs. I hadn’t been able to think too hard about the dogs since the day after Christmas. In fact, I’d had to consciously push focused thoughts of the dogs to the back of my mind for that entire week.
On Christmas Eve and Christmas day, we noticed K was having a bit more difficulty than usual getting around. She was having trouble with her back legs. We don’t know exactly how old she is. We adopted her after she’d been pulled from a kill shelter, so we don’t know her history. They guessed her to be about three at the time we adopted her, which would make her 12 now, but I think she’s two or three years older than that. She no longer hears well. She’s had cataracts for a while now, so her vision has been getting progressively worse. She has a heart murmur. And she’s been slowing down. She’s always been a loud breather, but that’s been getting louder, too. It’s not laryngeal paralysis, which seems to be common in Brittanys, but we hadn’t been able to figure out why it’s been getting worse. She’s had unusual head twitches and tremors for awhile, too, which are apparently not uncommon in older dogs, but can look like a dog has neurological problems.
Long story short, her health has clearly been declining with age, but her rear-end weakness was very concerning. So we went to see her vet the day after Christmas. After a very thorough exam, including full blood work and x-rays, the vet was surprised to discover that she has very severe arthritis in her hips, which explains the rear-end weakness. She’s apparently been hiding chronic pain for quite some time (instinctual in animals). Her spine looks great, though. Sadly, the vet was also very surprised to find a large mass in the front lobe of her right lung. There’s no evidence of cancer in her lab results, which means if it IS cancer, it’s not a blood malignancy and it is still encapsulated.
Removing the mass would require invasive and very painful thoracic surgery. The anesthesia that would be required is very risky in dogs her age. Lung cancer is not very common in dogs, so there’s a good chance it’s some other sort of cancer that’s metastasized to her lung. We could have it biopsied to try and determine exactly what it is, but that would require anesthesia, too, and would be painful. Knowing what it is would not change anything. We don’t want to subject her to surgery or any other painful, invasive procedures. If it is cancer, we wouldn’t subject her to chemo and/or radiation at this age either. She’s just too frail.
We WANT her to live forever, as a healthy, happy dog. But we do not feel like it would be fair to subject her to pain, prolonging her life for our own sake. So we are doing what we can to manage the arthritis pain and make sure she is happy and enjoying life. That’s the status quo for now. Of course, we have no idea how long that will last, so we are struggling with this knowledge daily.
She’s still got a strong appetite. She’s still able to get around okay and the meds seem to be managing the inflammation and pain. We are all trying to go on as usual, but are taking each day as it comes, hoping the inevitable is in the distant future, but preparing to handle the worst, but most humane thing for our Special K, whenever the time finally comes.
I still have not managed to overcome the image upload issue I have been having. I cleaned up my server (deleted lots of what I hope were unnecessary files), upgraded to the latest version of WordPress, and installed a new theme.
Still, I have issues. Next I will be uninstalling all of the plugins (extra functionality) I have added.
Things may start to look and work much differently. Just thought I’d give y’all a heads-up.
A few weeks ago, I decided it was time to make some changes to overcome an issue I’d been having uploading images.
The fix required me to change some file permissions on my host server. When I did that, I did something wrong and broke my blog. Then things got pretty busy and I simply did not have the time or mental energy to figure out a computer problem.
Today, on a whim, I tried something else.
And it worked! At least I think it did.
My blog can be properly viewed once more. Sadly, I still can’t upload images the way I should be able to.
Mike and I are home after a lovely week in Belgium. We went to visit Annelies and Yves, who moved into their newly renovated house after a three-year renovation. It’s not completely finished — they are doing most of the work themselves — but it is fabulous.
I didn’t take a bunch of pics of their house to share because there are still a lot of finishing touches needed. I’ll do that on our next visit.
For now, just a few pics. I hope to share more in future posts.
The trip was all about visiting with our friends and seeing the new house, so we didn’t do much touristy stuff. And it was actually a really fun visit. We explored the local area a bit, helped do little things around the house, got to meet some of their family, which was awesome, and basically just hung out.
On Saturday morning, I accompanied Annelies to the nearby town of Lokeren, where she had a two-hour band practice followed by a one-hour private music lesson (she plays bass guitar and sings). The music school is on the outskirts of town near a nature preserve called The Molsbroak (Het Moelsbroek on the map), so I roamed around there for a couple of hours and then drove around a bit until she was finished.
I was really surprised to discover a large community of expats from Canada living there.
I saw several Great Blue Herons, too.
There were other birds, too, but I have to figure out what they were before I can share more pics.
And here’s a picture captured near the center of their town, Dendermonde, on Friday afternoon.
I’ll share more pics from the trip in future posts. For now, it’s time to get to work.