Our Hearts Are Broken

On Friday, March 25, we were forced to make the decision all pet parents dread. We had to say goodbye to our sweet little baby girl. I really miss my dog. It hurts so much that I have really been struggling to find the words to say what I want to say.

Belle really was the best dog ever. How do I briefly sum up the life of a dog that brought so much love, joy, and laughter to our lives? She’s been such a huge part of our lives, especially these last few years when she was our only dog. Our lives will never be the same. She was such a special girl.

We adopted her in January 2009 when she was 18 months old. I met her first. She was a beautiful, spunky little princess with the cutest face and most expressive eyes. One look and I knew. It really was love at first sight. Not just for myself, either. When I met Belle, I knew she was exactly the kind of dog that Mike needed. She became his little girl immediately.

The bond was strong.

Belle was never a full-on face licker. She gave the cutest little tip-of-your-nose kisses that melted my heart every single time. She liked nuzzling ears, too. And snuggling her head up under my chin when I was holding her.

Smiley Belle (she loved, Loved, LOVED going “bye byes” and riding in the convertible).

Even as she aged, and it got harder and harder for her to get around or even just to get comfortable, she stayed sweet. As her vision and hearing got worse and worse, she became more and more anxious and leery of strangers, but she was never aggressive. And she was always such a smiley, happy dog. When I walked with her, almost everyone who saw her would smile at her. She seriously loved walks.

The previous image of Smiley belle is from earlier this year. She still had some of that special light of happiness in her eyes, which we saw less and less as the weeks and months progressed. She had always been a champion at hiding pain and discomfort.

Speaking of discomfort, she HATED baths, but she was very obedient and didn’t fight them too much. I think her last full bath was before we went to North Carolina for Christmas 2021. We had to give her butt baths periodically because of her issues with urinary incontinence, but she didn’t mind them as much as full-body bathing.

She really used to LOVE walking. As her body aged and her senses started failing, she enjoyed walks less and less. If Mike and I both walked with her, she was happy. All she really wanted as she aged was to be with her two favorite people.

She couldn’t do much toward the end, but she sure loved car rides. Especially in the Mini convertible.

Belle and Mike at Big Bend National Park.

She loved being with her people and hated being left alone in the coach so we took her everywhere we went. If Belle couldn’t go with us, we stayed home.

Belle looking out of her window.

 

“Where you been, Mama? I missed you.”

 

Belle looking out the window behind me. The back windows never stayed up for long when Belle was in the car.

 

Belle riding in the coach. She was the best co-pilot ever.

 

Even as she got older and grayer, people would often comment that she was such a beautiful dog. They were right. She was beautiful inside and out.

Lucky for us, we have good friends who didn’t mind having Belle around. Or who hid it well! LOL.

Belle enjoying a New Year’s boat ride on the Suwannee River.

 

Belle getting a little butt-scratch from Dad during the boat ride.

 

Belle enjoying the Suwannee River boat ride (photo courtesy of Bridget Machida).

 

Belle enjoying the Suwannee River boat ride (photo courtesy of Bridget Machida).

Below is a picture of our three-pack. Before Belle, we never, ever would have imagined that we would have three dogs at once. We adopted Belle as a companion for Meg (upper right), but the age difference was too great. She ran circles around Meg, literally, and made Meg a little crazy, which drove us all a little crazy, too. So we adopted a third dog, K (left), as a playmate for our feisty little Belle.

Belle was the youngest member of our three-pack.

It did not take long at all for Belle and K to become friends. They loved running and playing together. They especially enjoyed “wrastling” together, and so did we. It was so much fun to see and hear them wrestling! They made the funniest faces and sounds.

Belle and K were always two-peas-in-a-pod!

After K passed in February 2018, Belle was never quite the same. She didn’t like being an only dog. We did what we could to make sure she got lots of love and attention. And we made sure she had friends.

Zephyr and Belle

Her bestest friend was Zephyr, the miniature Australian Shepherd pictured with her above. We met him when he lived across the street from us. His Mama, Amy, was a firefighter and paramedic in training that worked long shifts. For about a year and a half or two, Zephyr would stay with us while his Mama was working. They had so much fun together and really did seem to just enjoy each other’s company.

His mama would drop him off at the house early in the mornings, while we were still sleeping, and Belle was always so happy and excited to have him there. The two of them were quite a pair. We are so glad he could give her the friendship she needed during that time. She even loved walking again when Zephyr was with us.

Her other two friends were Bodhi (a Lab) and Symon (a Golden) Richardson, pictured below. She loved their people, too, and always enjoyed staying with them while we were traveling.

L-R, Bodhi, Belle, and Symon.

 

L-R, Belle, Bodhi, and Symon in September 2021

The boys were much bigger and younger than Belle. Bodhi and her were friends first, then Symon joined the family. They were all very good together. Their house was a happy, safe place for Belle. She really did love their people, too, and I will forever be grateful to them for opening their home to our baby girl.

She really did hate being alone. I think she was always a bit anxious, but having Meg and K as pack mates, two dogs with big, extroverted personalities, helped manage and hide or distract her (and us!) from that part of her personality.

Belle relaxing on the front porch of our Warrenton home.

 

She loved being outside more than anything. Especially if one or more of her people were out there, too.

I have so many great pictures of Belle enjoying the outdoors. From hunting with K at the West Virginia place to just hanging out with us while we were doing yard work or whatever.

Speaking of hunting…

One of Belle’s proudest moments. The day she caught her first squirrel.
She pranced around the yard, soooo happy and proud to have caught one of those little buggers.

I am 100% convinced that the day she caught that squirrel at our yard in Maryland was one of her best days ever.

Belle was always a great “helper” in the yard.

She chased squirrels at our Virginia house, too, but never caught any. She did come very close a few times, though.

Our co-pilot.

I loved seeing her face in the mirror when we were riding in the Mini. Thats when she was happiest toward the end, when “going bye-byes” with her two people.

She was such a happy, goofy dog at times. Maybe she just put up with us, but we sure had a lot of good times and laughs with her.

Mike and Belle sporting some tacky sunglasses, freebies from our first big RV show.

 

Break time during a workday when Dad came to visit my office.

 

Convertible hair!

 

She loved hanging out with me when I was cooking. Yes, I always gave her some little nibbles.

The image above was taken just a few weeks ago in Las Cruces, New Mexico.

Belle loved the snow!

 

This is Belle’s impatient look. She got tired of me taking pics.

 

A happy greeting from Belle.

 

Belle in January, chillaxin’ with her people in the screen house at our campsite in Florida.

 

Belle with us and our friends Lynne and Jerry in February when we visited Fredericksburg, Texas.

 

Belle posing with Mike in Fredericksburg, Texas.

 

Belle at White Sands National Park in New Mexico.

 

Belle at White Sands. We believe she thought the sand was snow.

 

Belle was a bit winded after following Mike to the top of a dune at White Sands.

 

Mike and Belle waiting for me to stop taking pictures and get back into the car!

 

One of my favorite pictures from that visit to White Sands.

 

Belle enjoying a hike with us near Las Cruces, New Mexico.

 

“Mama, are you coming?” The hike was a little hard for her, but she still enjoyed it. She was, after all, doing fun stuff outside with her people.

Walking was getting harder for Belle, but she so loved doing things outside with us. And we loved having her along.

Mike and Belle in San Antonio, Texas back in January.

 

Belle and Mike exploring one of the missions in San Antonio, Texas in January.

 

I took this sometime over the last month or so. I could tell her special light was starting to fade.

 

Belle around Christmas 2021. She was such a trooper and was so tolerant of having to wear diapers while in the house.

I could tell that Belle’s incontinence bothered her. She always seemed so confused when she wet herself. We never, ever yelled at her for it. We just cleaned her up and assured her that it wasn’t her fault and told her that she was such a good girl.

Here’s Belle watching the moonrise with me in Terlingua, Texas. I will forever miss my little shadow.

 

A few days before Belle’s death during our visit to Saguaro National Park (west).

Over the last couple of months, I’d noticed it was becoming harder and harder for Belle to maintain her favorite head-hanging-out-a-window position in the car while we were on car rides. She was getting tired more and more quickly.

Belle and I on March 19th at the Coronado National Forest outside of Tucson.

I’d seen the light leaving her eyes gradually over the past couple of months. I’d known her time was approaching. Mike knew, too. We didn’t talk about it, though. We just kept hoping beyond hope that she’d rebound yet again.

But, when she woke up sick again on Friday, and continued being sick as the morning progressed, I knew.

She’d slowly been losing control of her bowels and it scared her. I will spare you the details. Just know that on Friday morning, I knew in my heart that it was time. That light had left her eyes and our little girl was suffering.

Belle on Friday afternoon.

People always say that pet parents know when it’s time. It’s so true. I knew it for CeCe, then Meg, then K, and now Belle. It’s a horrible feeling. It’s when you know for sure that your beloved friend has been suffering and that they’ve finally had ENOUGH. It’s when you know you have to make the awful sacrifice necessary to end your beloved friend’s pain and suffering.

I knew it was time. Mike knew it was time. I think Belle did, too. None of us wanted to let her go, but we did what we felt was the best thing for Belle. We loved her so much.

She was so scared at the end, which made it even harder than we knew it was going to be. It was awful, but we stayed with her to the very end letting her know that she had always been such a good little girl. She was and will always be our pretty little girl.

Belle enjoying a beautiful sunset in her favorite North Carolina yard.

She has left such a huge hole in our hearts. I know this heart-wrenching pain, like everything else, will pass eventually. But right now it is very raw.

Mike and I both love and REALLY miss our beautiful, extraordinarily special, happy little girl.

Until we meet again, baby Belle. Please know that Dad and Mama will forever be grateful for every single second that you were with us during our Earthly lives, and that we look forward to seeing you again when we get to the other side.

11 Replies to “Our Hearts Are Broken”

  1. What a beautiful tribute!. I’m so sorry for your loss of Belle. It is so, so sad when we loose them. I remember the day you visited Jenn and we took a picture of our total of five Britneys. I lost Sophie 2-1/2 years ago and I still miss her. Thank you for your compassionate heart and wonderful blogs.

  2. What a beautiful tribute to a VERY special girl! Love you Bella Boop you had the very best life I was so happy to have been a very small part of it…

    Hugs and prayers to you Kathy and Mike as you know it is hardest on those of us left behind 💔

  3. What a wonderful tribute to her, thanks for sharing. Always enjoyed the pack walking in warrenton photos and then all over the country photos of her!

  4. Oh, Kathy, my heart breaks for you and Mike. Belle was amazing. I’m so glad we got to share a small part of her life on the pontoon boat. I look at my old Leinen and wonder how long.

  5. Crying ugly tears over here. You picked some really good pictures and moments to share. Love you both. Jasper and Murray are looking forward to giving you kisses soon!

  6. Oh Kathy and Mike, Dave and I are so very sorry. Losing our four legged family members is the hardest. They give their love so unconditionally from the first time we meet them until we have to let them go. We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers. Hugs

Comments are closed.