Changing Perspective

In years past, the end of December/beginning of January was a time to look back at posts I’d published throughout the year and revisit the big events of the prior twelve months. I did think about doing that this year, but only for about a split second. Because I didn’t share enough on the blog to make that worthwhile. If I had shared enough, the recap would have felt, well, awful.

It was not a good year, that’s for sure. But it wasn’t all bad. It was difficult and even painful at times, but I learned a lot. I made some new friends, and lost some old ones. There wasn’t much motorcycle travel to speak of, but we did enjoy a fabulous, two-week, 25th anniversary trip to Hawaii. And, later in the year, we took an impromptu road trip to Louisiana so I could cross the final three States — Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana — off my list of US states to be visited.

There was also a fun road with a friend in August that was memorable for many reasons, all of which were good.

For me, more than anything, 2019 was a year of transition. I am not the same person who started writing this blog in 2008, almost 12 years ago. I know a lot more about myself than I did then. I know a lot more about the people around me, too.

I’m really torn about whether I should even continue this blog, trash it and start fresh, or just kill the blog, get on with my life in different ways. Some of you who have been following me for awhile may benefit from the lessons I have learned. Some may decide I’ve gone crazy (I’m still trying to figure that one out myself!) and never come back. Maybe, the whole idea will just fizzle and go away.

Decisions, decisions…

Life is tough, that’s for sure, but things could always be worse. I am blessed in so many ways. Compared to other folks, I have nothing to complain about. Rather than try to chronologically re-hash everything that happened last year, I’m going to try a new approach. It’s an approach I’m trying hard to apply to life in general.

Take each day as it comes. Enjoy each day for what it is. Learn from my mistakes. Celebrate my successes. Share my journey, for better or worse, openly and honestly.

I think that’s one of the reasons this blog sort of lost it’s appeal to me. Over the years, it became a censored version of what went on in my life. I shared the high points, but ignored or glossed over the low ones.

This year, 2020, is a good time to start fresh. It may not be pretty. There will be ugliness. I’ll curse a lot more than I did here in the past. You’ll actually get to see the real me. For better or worse and all that jazz.

I am not sure what this blog will become. It might just fizzle out and die. We shall see.

The most-important lesson I learned this past year is how to let shit go. Really. Guilt is a powerful thing. It has ruled my life in many ways. It took 52 years for me to realize that the burden of guilt is something I have put on myself.

Fuck guilt. In 2020, I am going to do what I need to do to take care of myself. To do that, I need to care less about what others think about me. I need to do what I know is right. Focus on what I believe is important. Embrace all of the lessons I have learned, good and bad, and move on.

We have each been put on this Earth for a reason. We each have our own path to take. We will all reach the end one day. It could be this year, or it could be many years from now. There really is no way to know. So we might as well just do whatever we need to do to enjoy our own journey.