Our Hearts Are Broken

On Friday, March 25, we were forced to make the decision all pet parents dread. We had to say goodbye to our sweet little baby girl. I really miss my dog. It hurts so much that I have really been struggling to find the words to say what I want to say.

Belle really was the best dog ever. How do I briefly sum up the life of a dog that brought so much love, joy, and laughter to our lives? She’s been such a huge part of our lives, especially these last few years when she was our only dog. Our lives will never be the same. She was such a special girl.

We adopted her in January 2009 when she was 18 months old. I met her first. She was a beautiful, spunky little princess with the cutest face and most expressive eyes. One look and I knew. It really was love at first sight. Not just for myself, either. When I met Belle, I knew she was exactly the kind of dog that Mike needed. She became his little girl immediately.

The bond was strong.

Belle was never a full-on face licker. She gave the cutest little tip-of-your-nose kisses that melted my heart every single time. She liked nuzzling ears, too. And snuggling her head up under my chin when I was holding her.

Even as she aged, and it got harder and harder for her to get around or even just to get comfortable, she stayed sweet. As her vision and hearing got worse and worse, she became more and more anxious and leery of strangers, but she was never aggressive. And she was always such a smiley, happy dog. When I walked with her, almost everyone who saw her would smile at her. She seriously loved walks.

The previous image of Smiley belle is from earlier this year. She still had some of that special light of happiness in her eyes, which we saw less and less as the weeks and months progressed. She had always been a champion at hiding pain and discomfort.

Speaking of discomfort, she HATED baths, but she was very obedient and didn’t fight them too much. I think her last full bath was before we went to North Carolina for Christmas 2021. We had to give her butt baths periodically because of her issues with urinary incontinence, but she didn’t mind them as much as full-body bathing.

She really used to LOVE walking. As her body aged and her senses started failing, she enjoyed walks less and less. If Mike and I both walked with her, she was happy. All she really wanted as she aged was to be with her two favorite people.

She couldn’t do much toward the end, but she sure loved car rides. Especially in the Mini convertible.

She loved being with her people and hated being left alone in the coach so we took her everywhere we went. If Belle couldn’t go with us, we stayed home.

 

 

 

 

Lucky for us, we have good friends who didn’t mind having Belle around. Or who hid it well! LOL.

 

 

 

Below is a picture of our three-pack. Before Belle, we never, ever would have imagined that we would have three dogs at once. We adopted Belle as a companion for Meg (upper right), but the age difference was too great. She ran circles around Meg, literally, and made Meg a little crazy, which drove us all a little crazy, too. So we adopted a third dog, K (left), as a playmate for our feisty little Belle.

It did not take long at all for Belle and K to become friends. They loved running and playing together. They especially enjoyed “wrastling” together, and so did we. It was so much fun to see and hear them wrestling! They made the funniest faces and sounds.

After K passed in February 2018, Belle was never quite the same. She didn’t like being an only dog. We did what we could to make sure she got lots of love and attention. And we made sure she had friends.

Her bestest friend was Zephyr, the miniature Australian Shepherd pictured with her above. We met him when he lived across the street from us. His Mama, Amy, was a firefighter and paramedic in training that worked long shifts. For about a year and a half or two, Zephyr would stay with us while his Mama was working. They had so much fun together and really did seem to just enjoy each other’s company.

His mama would drop him off at the house early in the mornings, while we were still sleeping, and Belle was always so happy and excited to have him there. The two of them were quite a pair. We are so glad he could give her the friendship she needed during that time. She even loved walking again when Zephyr was with us.

Her other two friends were Bodhi (a Lab) and Symon (a Golden) Richardson, pictured below. She loved their people, too, and always enjoyed staying with them while we were traveling.

 

The boys were much bigger and younger than Belle. Bodhi and her were friends first, then Symon joined the family. They were all very good together. Their house was a happy, safe place for Belle. She really did love their people, too, and I will forever be grateful to them for opening their home to our baby girl.

She really did hate being alone. I think she was always a bit anxious, but having Meg and K as pack mates, two dogs with big, extroverted personalities, helped manage and hide or distract her (and us!) from that part of her personality.

 

I have so many great pictures of Belle enjoying the outdoors. From hunting with K at the West Virginia place to just hanging out with us while we were doing yard work or whatever.

Speaking of hunting…

I am 100% convinced that the day she caught that squirrel at our yard in Maryland was one of her best days ever.

She chased squirrels at our Virginia house, too, but never caught any. She did come very close a few times, though.

I loved seeing her face in the mirror when we were riding in the Mini. Thats when she was happiest toward the end, when “going bye-byes” with her two people.

She was such a happy, goofy dog at times. Maybe she just put up with us, but we sure had a lot of good times and laughs with her.

 

 

 

The image above was taken just a few weeks ago in Las Cruces, New Mexico.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Walking was getting harder for Belle, but she so loved doing things outside with us. And we loved having her along.

 

 

 

I could tell that Belle’s incontinence bothered her. She always seemed so confused when she wet herself. We never, ever yelled at her for it. We just cleaned her up and assured her that it wasn’t her fault and told her that she was such a good girl.

 

Over the last couple of months, I’d noticed it was becoming harder and harder for Belle to maintain her favorite head-hanging-out-a-window position in the car while we were on car rides. She was getting tired more and more quickly.

I’d seen the light leaving her eyes gradually over the past couple of months. I’d known her time was approaching. Mike knew, too. We didn’t talk about it, though. We just kept hoping beyond hope that she’d rebound yet again.

But, when she woke up sick again on Friday, and continued being sick as the morning progressed, I knew.

She’d slowly been losing control of her bowels and it scared her. I will spare you the details. Just know that on Friday morning, I knew in my heart that it was time. That light had left her eyes and our little girl was suffering.

People always say that pet parents know when it’s time. It’s so true. I knew it for CeCe, then Meg, then K, and now Belle. It’s a horrible feeling. It’s when you know for sure that your beloved friend has been suffering and that they’ve finally had ENOUGH. It’s when you know you have to make the awful sacrifice necessary to end your beloved friend’s pain and suffering.

I knew it was time. Mike knew it was time. I think Belle did, too. None of us wanted to let her go, but we did what we felt was the best thing for Belle. We loved her so much.

She was so scared at the end, which made it even harder than we knew it was going to be. It was awful, but we stayed with her to the very end letting her know that she had always been such a good little girl. She was and will always be our pretty little girl.

She has left such a huge hole in our hearts. I know this heart-wrenching pain, like everything else, will pass eventually. But right now it is very raw.

Mike and I both love and REALLY miss our beautiful, extraordinarily special, happy little girl.

Until we meet again, baby Belle. Please know that Dad and Mama will forever be grateful for every single second that you were with us during our Earthly lives, and that we look forward to seeing you again when we get to the other side.