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I Finally Have the Nerve to Admit…

Hubby left me! Tuesday night. He ran off with two bitches. Not just any bitches, either. Bitches wearing matching maroon bandannas! Thinking they were all cute and stuff.

He’s probably with them this very minute as I sit at home updating my blog. Alone. Even my son abandoned me (had to go to PA for work).

So I wonder what they’re doing right now?

I imagine them having heart-to-heart chats…

And he’s probably giving them ear massages…

Not just quickie ear massages. The full treatment. Where he starts at the temple, then moves back behind the ears…


I wonder if they know he’s got a wife at home? All alone. Lonely without her man.

I’m sure they don’t care. Bitches like that probably don’t even feel guilty.

In fact, they’re probably laughing to themselves, muttering to each other in that crazy, semi-silent, bitch-speak that sounds mostly like whining.

Saying, “Nyah, nyah, we’re here and you’re not!”

I’ll show them. As soon as I finish work for the day, I am leaving. I’m gonna pack my stuff, hit the road, and drop right on in to the middle of the party.

“Enough of this frolicking without me!” I’ll say.

I wonder how the bitches will feel about that?

I’ll let you know when I get back.

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Local Photoshop Disaster

There’s a fun little Blog Shannon told me about a while ago called Photoshop Disasters. It is on my blog roll (the list of other people’s blogs that I like).

As its name implies, it features examples of less-than-perfect graphics obviously altered using Photoshop (probably) or some other image editing software.

Back on Monday, August 18, Towson University was featured.

On August 14, another local — Michael Phelps — made the spotlight. Not because of anything he did, but because someone took certain liberties adding a smile to his face that doesn’t quite fit the moment. Is it me, or is his head way too small, too?

There’s another funny one HERE; funnier yet is that it came from an actual real estate listing.

You also see stuff like this missing nipple shot.

Get the picture?

Photoshop is a very cool program. But it is REALLY easy to get carried away.

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Whatever…

I’ve discovered that I am hooked on blogs now. I’m not sure that’s a good thing though. I spent a lot of time this morning searching the Web for great blogs. There are all kinds of blogs out there. Some good, some not.

Of all the blogs I looked at, I only decided one was good enough to bookmark. Julie’s Journal is the blog I chose. What grabbed me hardest was the subtitle, which is…

“Good girls have diaries…Bad girls have blogs.”

Not because I am bad, or even aspire to be bad. But because I want to have fun as I make my way through this life of mine. I think Julie and I might be kindred spirits. I’ll have to visit again, at least a few times, before deciding for sure.

But how can I not like someone who likes using ellipses (…) like I do, uses them incorrectly…like I do, and doesn’t seem to care. She likes Papi, the chihuahua, too. And posts funny pictures of her kids (this one is back-to-school day), even though they are way beyond the cute, cuddly, baby/toddler stage.

She doesn’t mind exploiting her kids either.

She’s real. Or seems to be. I’ll have to visit again to be sure. So far, though, I like what I have seen.

But that’s only one new blog. I need more. Help me out, here.

Is there a good blog you can recommend that will help eat away at what little free time I have? You know, the time I regularly squander doing stupid stuff like searching for new blogs and playing Scrabble instead of doing useful stuff like working (who wants to do that at 6:00 AM anyway?) or writing the next great American novel. Cool Web sites are good, too.

C’mon. Help me out here.

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It’s Wordle Day!

Friday is a great day for a Wordle. What’s that you ask? If you read my Blog last Saturday, you’d know. I don’t feel like explaining it all again. So go back and read that post.

Although I have to admit, I screwed that one up. It has since been corrected (I entered the link wrong).

Wordles are fun. It is certainly an easy way to create a post when you have nothing at all worthwhile to chat about.

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Cool in a Weird Way

My middle child — Amy — found a cool Web site yesterday. It’s WORDLE. It takes chunks of text, extracts the words, and arranges them into an image.

The words you use most are bigger than the words you use the least. It will work on any Web page with text (like a Blog page). Or you can cut and past any block of text into it.

My wordle for Friday is posted above. It sort of looks like a foot, doesn’t it? Apparently, I need to write about people more.

It is kind of fun. If you decide to try it and want to share your wordle, leave a comment with a link so all my loyal readers can see it, too.